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Wednesday, October 15, 2008

How do you deal with difficult parents?

Parent-teacher conferences on the horizon. In a dream world, all parents are understanding, calm and helpful, but that just isn't always the case. Here are a few resources to help you prepare for meetings that may be less than ideal or complete nightmares.

I found this great book by Suzanne Capek Tingley called (aptly) How to Handle Difficult Parents: A Teacher's Survival Guide. In the book, she diagnoses different parent types and suggests strategies to deal with them. Some of the types include:

"Helicopter Mom, who hovers constantly, ready to whisk away any problem or inconvenience that might befall her child"
"Caped Crusader, who will stop at nothing to have that book eliminated from the curriculum."
"Pinnocchio's Mom, who believes that her child, unlike every other child in the univers, never ever tells a lie of any kind."
"The Intimidator who wants what he wants and wants it now."

Not to mention the Uncivil libertarians, Ms. "Quit Pickin on My Kid," No show's Dad, The Competitor and more. It's just like when you're teaching in the classroom, you need different methods to reach different people. This book will help you do that, and give you a few laughs in the process. Check out a sneak peak here

Looking for general conference tips? There is a helpful list of dos and don'ts by Barbara and Sue Gruber that might help. A brief rundown:
  • Make it clear that "your goal is to help every child succeed."
  • As with all criticism and assessment, be sensitive and mention the areas in which their child is successful along with the problems.
  • Have documentation and specific examples to back up what you're saying.
  • If a parent has a question you don't have an answer for, let them know you'll think about it and get back to them.
  • Don't take abuse from anyone. If the meeting becomes uncivil, end it. Full list

Also - Use silence to your advantage and don't back down!

What are your tips and strategies for dealing with difficult parents? Share them in the comments section and/or take the poll on the right!

3 comments:

Genevieve said...

Dealing with difficult parents is so incredibly frustrating. Take a deep breath and stay calm. Make an effort to be-friend the parent early on. The parents that feel acknowledged by the teachers tend to be a little less agressive. It is the parents that feel like outcasts that tend to be the most difficult. Include them...ask them a question once in a while... A little positive attention goes a long way!

The Fixer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julie said...

Sometimes the parents can be even more difficult than the students. I have heard that it is helpful to contact the parents BEFORE there is a problem so that they know who you are and respect you. This way they will not feel like you are attacking their child so much. Parents can either be overbearing and too protective or they can cause the behavior problems in your class. I once had a parent who told their second grader to "beat up" anyone that picked on them. "If someone hits you, you hit them back." As teachers we can't control what goes on at home, but it is our job to make school life as productive and as great an environment as possible.